How to Survive NJ Transit, or How Not to Be a Creeper
Here are five of the most basic do’s and don’t's to follow while commuting on NJ Transit. It’s hard out there for a commuter, but with a little train etiquette, I think we can all…get on the right track? I’m sorry, that was painful for me, too. Anyway, enjoy! And, after reading through my ideas, tell me: Do you have any wisdom to pass along?
Just your typical jam-packed, peak-hour train (Photo from DustandRust.com)
DO: Read. Duh. Too many books, too little time… but two hours a day on the train helps! I love borrowing books from work that I’ve been working with and reading them on the train. Even though I don’t necessarily have to read the books I help produce, doing so allows me to do my job much better. I’m able to better communicate with designers (who may have read the book) and editors (who have not only read the book, but are intimately involved with it to the extent of being in a relationship). Right now, I skew toward YA books and fun middle-grade series, like Allie Finkle (though I’m definitely partial to Allie because of her name! Well, that, and Allie’s spunky voice, courtesy of YA mastermind Meg Cabot).
DON’T: Comment on your neighbor’s reading choice. Well, sometimes this is OK I suppose. For instance, the occasional “I loved that book” is fine with me, as is that “I heard about that book. Are you enjoying it?” But I’ve had people give away plot twists and endings (really? REALLY?) while I’m only on Chapter One, and that’s just rude. RUDE, I tell ya! And don’t read over people’s shoulders, unless you’re commuting with them and you’ve both agreed to read the book at the same time, like my commuting buddy Andrew and I did with Catching Fire (and will likely do with the third book in Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games trilogy when it comes out next summer). Oh, and when someone is doing a crossword or Sudoku puzzle, please refrain from giving them the answers or telling them how quickly you were able to finish it that morning (this means you, smug man from Metropark!).
DO: Sleep. This editourist leaves for work at 6:40 AM and doesn’t return home until 7:15 PM, leaving time for dinner, some freelance work, maybe a little TV, and bed. I like to catch up on sleep on my way to work. New York Penn is the final stop, so it’s nearly impossible to sleep through it. Although, I do have fears of one day missing the stop and ending up in the Sunnyside train yard… but I’ll deal with that when it happens.
DON’T: Snore, drool excessively, or sleep on the passenger next to you’s shoulder. Sometimes you can’t help it. I understand. But please, please try.
DO: Play with your new Droid ERIS phone, because you have one! And by you, I mean me, and it’s been a life-changing experience. I don’t think it’s specifically the ERIS that’s changed my life, but having a phone with internet capabilities. Now I can use my train time to catch up on news, personal email, and reading Publishers Weekly (which has a pretty clean Mobile look, mind you!). I’m also loving the text application, because it shows up as an IM and logs my conversations. My days of accidently deleting important messages are gone!
DON’T: Play games or watch YouTube videos on your phone with the sound on. I’m begging you. I’m asking you to mute it partially because it’s just plain annoying and inconsiderate, but mostly because the sounds are totally going to distract me from whatever I’m trying to do. For instance, if I’m reading but I keep hearing “beep” and “chirrrrp” from your phone, I’m going to look over your shoulder to see what’s going on. I want you to clear the screen in Tetris! I want you to find a match in Bejeweled! I’m your biggest fan! But it’s incredibly creepy for me to be watching you play these games, so please, save this easily-distracted girl the trouble and mute it. Or, wear headphones. Preferably big, cool-looking ones. Big, cool-looking, orange ones (birthday present, hint hint!).
DO: Observe the strange breed that is the NJ Transit passenger. Man, what characters. NJ Transit passengers range from the Jewish pants salesman arguing on the phone with his mom about Shabbas dinner, to the most definitely not legal high-school boys coming home from the city drunk, to the 80-something man hitting on the conductor… the list goes on, and yes, these are all true examples. Andrew and I love people-watching on the train. It’s hard to avoid doing anyway, so you might as well enjoy it.
DON’T: Get caught observing the strange breed that is the NJ Transit passenger. You’ll get hit on, threatened, glared at, and made to feel generally uncomfortable. Probably because you’re being a total creeper and you deserve it.
DO: Zone out into space. One of my favorite ways to pass the time. Grab a window seat, make yourself comfortable, and let yourself tune out for a while. Why not?
DON’T: Zone out long enough to miss conductors’ instructions (or your station stop, for that matter). Here’s why not: As I’ve learned the hard way, you often have to walk forward or backward cars in order to make your stop. This is especially true during peak hours, and it changes depending on which train you catch. And here’s another why not: The conductor will often make a speech that sounds like this: “This train will not stop in [your stop]. I repeat, this train will not stop in [your stop]. This train will make all station stops except for [your stop]. That is, all stops except [your stop]. We will not stop in [your stop]. No [your stop].” When you ask the conductor why you’re passing the stop you want to get off at, he’s not going to think it’s funny. Trust me.
BONUS DON’T: Argue with the conductor. She does not have the ability to magically turn the train around. Really. Arguing is going to get you nowhere but further in the wrong direction. Accept your mistake, ask how to fix it, and laugh about it later. I did!
Filed under: Commuting | 1 Comment
Tags: Allie Finkle, Bejeweled, Books, Commuting, Droid, ERIS, Hunger Games, NJ Transit, people-watching, Suzanne Collins, Trains
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WHAT?! Spoilers on the train?! Oh no. I would for real smack that person and walk into a different car.
Here’s mine:
DO walk around the platform until you find someone attractive, then sit near them on the train so you can look at them if you get bored.
DON’T get drunk, call some girl, and tell her to leave her boyfriend because you are better than he is, all while slapping your face every few seconds (side effects of drugs? Not sure, but I was scared!)